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If They Don’t Know You Personally, Don’t Take It Personal

Casey Kolp in a beanie.

Ah, the joys of beer tastings and controversial topics! My husband and I were recently at a beer-tasting event with some of our closest friends and a few acquaintances who were just tagging along for the ride. It’s always fun when you’re having a good time and then someone brings up a polarizing subject like golf. It’s almost like bringing up politics or religion – you never know who’s going to get offended.


My husband and I happen to be avid golfers. Notice I said “avid,” not “skilled.” We recently joined a country club that’s nestled on a golf course, and let me tell you, it’s a little slice of heaven. Not only do we get to practice our swings on a pristine course, but we also have access to a pool, a gym, and even a few tennis and pickleball courts. It’s like a one-stop shop for all our leisurely needs.


But as soon as we mentioned our club to these acquaintances, we could sense their judgmental eyes on us. They had their own opinions about country clubs and the people who join them – and let’s just say they weren’t exactly positive. Who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned stereotype, am I right?


At first, I was feeling a little defensive. These people barely knew us, and yet they were making assumptions about our character based on our membership at a country club. It was like they were judging a book by its cover, without even bothering to read the first page. But then, I had to take a step back and remind myself that these people don’t know the whole story. They don’t know that we joined the club because it brings us closer to our friends, or that we love golf even though we are less than skilled at the game. And let’s not forget about the food – oh, the food! It’s sensational, to say the least.


It’s a common human tendency to take things personally, especially when it comes to our own actions or beliefs. We tend to attach our identities to our actions and beliefs, and when someone criticizes or disagrees with us, it can feel like a personal attack. I know I am guilty of this and I swing towards the side of “over feeling.” However, it’s important to remember that not everyone knows us personally and may not have the full context.


It’s essential to realize that people’s reactions to us are often more about themselves than us. They may be projecting their own insecurities, fears, or biases onto us, and we end up bearing the brunt of their emotional baggage. It’s not fair, but it’s a reality of human nature.


Furthermore, in today’s world of social media and online communication, it’s easy to misinterpret someone’s words or intentions. We may read a comment or message and immediately assume the worst, but it’s important to take a step back and consider whether we have all the information or if we’re jumping to conclusions.


The truth is we can’t control other people’s opinions or reactions to us. We can only control our own actions and beliefs. If we know in our hearts that we’re doing the right thing, then we can take comfort in that and not worry so much about what others think.  I realize this is easier said than done.  If someone doesn’t know us personally and has an unfavorable opinion of us, it’s not a reflection of our worth or character.


It’s crucial to remember that not everyone knows us personally.  Not everyone should know us personally. We shouldn’t take it personally when someone disagrees with us or has a negative opinion of us. Instead, we should focus on being true to ourselves and not let other people’s opinions define us.  People’s opinions of us only define us if we let it.  As the saying goes, “What other people think of you is none of your business.”

About the Author

Casey Kolp

Cheers! I’m Casey! Get ready for a blog full of wanderlust, culinary adventures, and unfiltered opinions – where I spill the tea (and the wine) on all things food, lifestyle, and travel!

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