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Don’t Let the Ugly in Others Kill the Beauty in You

Casey in her room smiling beautifully

You wake up on a rainy Sunday morning and instinctively reach for your phone. As you fire up Instagram, you come across a post on your feed that makes your jaw drop. You come across a post shared by someone you know.  There it is. Right in your face.  It’s a picture of them out with their friends and in the captions, they’ve made some snide remarks about one of your blog posts. You feel your stomach drop and your face flush with embarrassment and hurt. You can’t believe that someone you considered a friend would say something so hurtful about you in public. You start to question yourself and wonder if other people are thinking the same thing. It’s as if all the negativity in the world has come crashing down on you. You feel a surge of anger, frustration, and sadness all at once. You can’t believe that someone would post something so petty for the whole world to see. You feel the urge to fire off a response, but you know that it won’t solve anything.


Life is full of ups and downs, and there will always be those people who seem to take pleasure in bringing us down—they take pleasure in the ugly. They might make snide comments or just generally be negative, but we can’t let their ugly behavior bring us down. After all, as the saying goes, “Don’t let the ugly in others kill the beauty in you.”


It’s easier said than done, of course. When someone is being rude or hurtful, our natural reaction is to respond in the same way.  When we do that, we’re allowing their negativity to affect us. We are taking it on and claiming it as our own too. We’re letting their ugliness seep into our own lives. So how do we protect ourselves from the ugliness of others? 


Remember, it’s not about us. When someone is being negative or hurtful, it says more about them than it does about us. Maybe they’re having a bad day or maybe they’re dealing with their own issues that have nothing to do with us at all. Either way, it’s important to try not to take their behavior personally.  Like I mentioned in my last post—if they don’t know you personally, don’t take it personal.  (Insert internal like to post)


Surround yourself with what you view as positivity.  When we spend time with people who make us feel good, it’s much harder for the negativity of others to bring us down. Whether it’s a good friend, a supportive family member, or a night of self-care, find the things that bring you joy and make them a regular part of your life. Hold them close.


Frustratingly, sometimes it’s just not possible to avoid the ugliness of others. Maybe you have a co-worker who is always negative or a family member who constantly puts you down. In those situations, it’s important to set boundaries. Boundaries are a totem of self-love and respect.  You don’t have to engage with their negativity, and you definitely do not have to let it affect you. Stand up for yourself and make it clear that their behavior is not in alignment with what your values are. 


Focus on the beauty in life. Don’t let the ugliness of others take away from the things that make you happy. We are only human, and sometimes it’s hard not to let other people’s ugliness affect us. We all fall victim to this.  Why was I targeted? What did I do to them? On the days when I struggle with this, there is one thing that always makes me feel better when I’m dealing with negative people: humor.


Let’s face it, sometimes people are just ridiculous. They say and do things that are so absurd, it’s hard not to laugh. The next time you’re dealing with someone who is being negative or hurtful, try to find humor in the situation. Maybe they’re wearing a ridiculous outfit or maybe they just said something so absurd, you can’t help but chuckle. Whatever it is, find the humor and let it lighten your mood.


Life is too short to let the ugliness of others bring us down. Focus on the beauty, surround yourself with positivity, and don’t forget to laugh. After all, as the great philosopher Taylor Swift once said, “Shake it off.”

About the Author

Casey Kolp

Cheers! I’m Casey! Get ready for a blog full of wanderlust, culinary adventures, and unfiltered opinions – where I spill the tea (and the wine) on all things food, lifestyle, and travel!

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